189. Monsters Like Terrorizing Young Entrepreneurs
Because babysitters are easy to surprise, never carry weapons, and ALWAYS wear miniskirts. That is like the triune of slasher-flick vulnerability.
Tag: monsters
188. Monsters Like Las Vegas
The City of Sin never sleeps. It’s perfect for vampires. It attracts millions of transients and tourists each year. It also attracts a lot of gambling addicts and prostitutes. But when feeding time comes around, the fiendish hellions of the night can’t be too picky about whom they drain.
187. Monsters Like Being Action Figures
Why let comic book heroes and shoot-em-up movies keep all that sweet merchandising gold to themselves? It was time to cash in and scream. . . . all the way to the bank.
186. Monsters Like When Your Cell Phone Rings At the Exact Moment You’re Hiding In the Closet From the Killer
No, Mom. I can’t talk right now. No. I’ll have to call you back later. Okay. Okay. Love you, too. Okay. I really have to go. Bye.
184. Monsters Like Fair Treatment During the Holidays
How come when Santa enters into your house in the middle of the night with a bag full of surprises, you leave him cookies? But when we enter your home in the middle of the night with surprises, you run and scream? Is it the hat? We can get a…
183. Monsters Like Holiday Stew
Sweet smells permeate from the kitchen during December, like meaty aroma of Holiday Stew. Gryla the giantess has emerged from her home in the Icelandic mountains and has worked hard collecting all her favorite ingredients from the countryside for her traditional Christmas meal. Her appetite is insatiable. So sit down…
182. Monsters Like Cockroaches and Cher
It’s a wide misconception that when the apocalypse hits, there will still be small bands of nomadic people, searching for truth, meaning, a place to rebuild their culture, and Twinkies. Those of us who have traveled forward in time know the truth. None of you suckers are going to make…
179. Monsters Like Surprising You in the Bathroom
We see you there, looking at yourself in the foggy medicine cabinet mirror. You look so lonely. Like you need company. Ooh. We’ve got an idea. When you open your medicine cabinet, then close it, we’ll be standing right behind you in the mirror. That’s exactly what you were hoping…
