117. Monsters Like Manicures

Oh, for shame! Just look at your fingernails! My, I bet you monsters lead in-teresting lives. I said to my girlfriend just the other day – Gee, I’ll bet monsters are in-teresting, I said. The places you must go and the places you must see, my stars! And I’ll bet…

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40. Monsters Like Hyperbole

Everything looks bigger in the dark, and monsters have no problem taking advantage where they can. Monsters love hyperbole. It makes their job scaring the be-Jesus out of people much easier. It’s good for their self-esteem, too. The Glendale Police Department has files and files of inaccurate eyewitness reports. A…

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