The ceremony was beautiful. The reception was fun. The champagne fountain has run dry. Now, here you are on your wedding night—How will you possibly spend the time?! Why not stay up until dawn playing games with your brand new, nutso in-laws? It’s every bride’s dream wedding night, right? Hey,…
Adolescence is difficult. Your body begins to go through changes. You’re hungry all the time. Hair starts sprouting where it has not before. Your sleeping habits change, and suddenly you enjoy staying up later. And to make matters worse, the fate of your school’s basketball season falls squarely on your…
There are two big things that monsters love about horror movies. The first is pretty obvious. We love rampaging across your screen, bringing terror to the hapless teenagers running through the woods. Or to the young girl possessed by a demon from Hell. Or to the citizens of Tokyo as…
I heard you once told your mother you hated her for making you eat brussel sprouts. Betcha didn’t know they would become the “it” vegetable of 2016. Betcha feel pretty bad about making something over nothing. Because now your mom’s dead. Well, I’m here now, child. And I’m running this…
Your father died before you were born. Your mother gave you up for adoption. She had many reasons, but what reasons are enough to give up your own child? Your own flesh? Even though you never knew them, your parents’ actions informed your entire life. It wasn’t an entirely miserable…
So, it sounds like you’ve fallen for the lovely young lady of the family, huh? Can’t blame you—she’s pretty amazing, isn’t she? (She gets her looks from her mother’s side of the family.) Welcome to our home! We’re so glad to meet you. We were so worried that she’d end…
If your mother knew something about you that you didn’t know, would you want to know? We’re talking life-changing, mind-bending, soul-crushing information. Something that would completely shatter your view of reality. Hell, it would shatter your view of…yourself. You know she knows something. You know there’s a reason why she’s…
It’s November, which means we now have the privilege of listening to you whiny humans complain about having to see the in-laws over the holidays. Oooh. You poor puny mortals and your family squabbles. You think you have you disagreements with your families. Why—because you’ve been arguing for 10 years…
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