If you’ve been wandering through the desert, lost for days, and you see a vending machine in the distance full of cold drinks, it’s probably a mirage. If you’re lost in the woods – and can’t find your way home because you were dumb enough to bring bird food to…
“Absum Adustum Admonitio Adverto Abbatis Abundans Reconcilio Recuperatio” Yes. Yes. Keep reading. We’re so glad you went snooping around your recently-deceased grandfather’s old book collection. We’ve all been cramped up in the nether-world for nearly a millennium. Thanks so much for attempting to open the portal between our two worlds…
We see you there, looking at yourself in the foggy medicine cabinet mirror. You look so lonely. Like you need company. Ooh. We’ve got an idea. When you open your medicine cabinet, then close it, we’ll be standing right behind you in the mirror. That’s exactly what you were hoping…
Even I know the ice caps are melting faster than normal. Of course, I know this because I’ve been trapped in them for a millennium. But now I’m out. And, boy, have I worked up an appetite. You there. With the t-shirt that reads “the Hottest Hoax Around.” Care to…
You’ve been driving all afternoon. You’re hungry. You’re tired. You just want to get out of the car. Thank the gods there’s a gas station conveniently located just up ahead! The strange gentleman at the desk seems a little creepy, but he’s probably harmless. And there’s no reason not to…
These tough dudes always posture like they’re tough, but their strength is no match for the super-paranormal. No mere wedgie or noogie can stop us. We know your weaknesses. We can smell them. And after tonight, you’ll never forget them again. Who’s the Alpha Male now?
