These posts are related to stuff monsters like. Imagine that….
Andrews, author of the 1979 horror bestseller Flowers in the Attic died in 1986. Yet, she has written dozens and dozens of books since she started pushing up daisies. How? If we monsters told you our secret, we’d have to kill you. . . . . too.
Humans are lazy. They say they like sports. Maybe they even do—a little. I see mortals at the bars, wearing their team jerseys and t-shirts. After the game, they go home and take them off. What? If you really loved your sport, your merchandise would be worn all the time.…
Monsters like the good old days, when there were no rules and children were there to be terrorized. Some of you remember when it was quite acceptable for teachers to make students stand in the corner. But then came all those new guidelines requiring us to be civil to youngsters.…
The best hair. The freshest nails. The tightest skin. We monsters take our looks very seriously. You know this—you’ve read all of our posts about fashion (see here and here). But nothing brings the ensemble together like the perfect piece of bling! You ever find the right jewelry, but you…
Rest assured. When you say— —it will be.
Some people are early birds. Some people are night owls. Some people aren’t any kind of bird. Some people aren’t even people. But whatdoyoucallpeoplewhoaren’tpeople,anyway? I guess you could just call them by their name. I mean, it’s never a bad idea to call someone by their name, right? Some people…
Good weather? Check. Babes in bikinis? Check. Beer? Check. Sunscreen? Check. Hot dogs? Check. Massacre? Uh, what? I didn’t order a massacre. That’s really going to ruin the chill vibe of this otherwise calm swimming respite. Gauze? Check. Ambulance? Check.
“This still says ‘Burma’! Time to update the globe in my hellish lair.”
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