Last Tuesday, intrepid SML reporter Hogson Shivers presented his report: “5 Ways to Prevent Moon Bandit Attacks.” Regretfully, we have discovered that his notes became mixed up with those for a different story. In fact, number four (“never feed them after midnight”) has no effect on moon bandits, but is…
Did you think that open window would fool us? We can smell your fear leaking out from under the door jam. And now we’re down wind.
Hitchhiking is dangerous. You’re out alone, along an otherwise deserted highway. Tired, anxious to get to where you’re going. And suddenly you see someone. You exchange a few cursory words. A “hey, where are you headed?” followed by a “I’m heading in that direction, too.” Then suddenly you’re not alone…
Bear traps? They should call them “Stupid Human Traps.” Think about it. How many times have you ever heard of a bear getting its leg caught in a trap? Never? Me neither. Now, how many times have you and your coworkers taken a team building weekend in the woods of…
Our minions at the SML Haunted Mansion and Blog Laboratory have gotten word of a new television show that will feature independent horror shorts, and we couldn’t be more excited! As you may have read, we kinda have a crush on horror actor Bill Oberst, Jr. Now, we’re excited to…
Face it. Men are suckers for a crying woman. As soon as the tears start flowing, a man’s entire set of defenses falls in the face of her sorrow. (Or her contrived sorrow, depending on how good she is at crying on cue.) He is suddenly at her mercy, ready…
Everyone likes putting together their Halloween costumes. Little kids dress up like their favorite Disney princesses and Marvel heroes. College girls try to find that delicate balance between skimpy and slutty. Grown-ups aim for humor, couples’ costumes, or just something creepy enough to frighten those pesky neighborhood kids from down…
Formaldehyde is like a monster’s duct tape. We use it for everything. Short on booze for your cocktail? Just toss in a dash of formaldehyde. Scraped your arm up chasing a few high schoolers through the woods? Spray it with formaldehyde. Have a body to preserve? Of course, formaldehyde. Run…
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