No, Mom. I can’t talk right now. No. I’ll have to call you back later. Okay. Okay. Love you, too. Okay. I really have to go. Bye.
Fa la la la la, la Muah HA HA HA HA!
So, 2012 has brought us a few lackluster or unsurprising events: the same President, the last trinumeral date of the century, an almost apocalypse, and … drum roll … Silent Hill: Revelation. And out of all of the money-wasting atrocities that could have been perpetrated upon on the public, the…
How come when Santa enters into your house in the middle of the night with a bag full of surprises, you leave him cookies? But when we enter your home in the middle of the night with surprises, you run and scream? Is it the hat? We can get a…
Sweet smells permeate from the kitchen during December, like meaty aroma of Holiday Stew. Gryla the giantess has emerged from her home in the Icelandic mountains and has worked hard collecting all her favorite ingredients from the countryside for her traditional Christmas meal. Her appetite is insatiable. So sit down…
It’s a wide misconception that when the apocalypse hits, there will still be small bands of nomadic people, searching for truth, meaning, a place to rebuild their culture, and Twinkies. Those of us who have traveled forward in time know the truth. None of you suckers are going to make…
If you’ve been wandering through the desert, lost for days, and you see a vending machine in the distance full of cold drinks, it’s probably a mirage. If you’re lost in the woods – and can’t find your way home because you were dumb enough to bring bird food to…
“Absum Adustum Admonitio Adverto Abbatis Abundans Reconcilio Recuperatio” Yes. Yes. Keep reading. We’re so glad you went snooping around your recently-deceased grandfather’s old book collection. We’ve all been cramped up in the nether-world for nearly a millennium. Thanks so much for attempting to open the portal between our two worlds…
Submit an idea here.
