438. Monsters Like Waiting Silently in Suits of Armor for Purposes of Recon and Information Gathering and Possibly Some Comical Chase Hijinks
437. Monsters Like Legalized Marijuana
Do you know how many stoners get killed off in horror movies? They die all the time. Light up a joint and your clock is ticking. We think monsters can smell cannabinoids on them, just like sharks to blood. With all the new legal weed smokers in the country, this…
436. Monsters Like Homeschooling
Monday, Wednesday, Friday: 8:00 AM: Archaeological Astronomy 9:00 AM: Freaky Rituals and Spellcasting 10:00 AM: Violin practice 12:00 PM: Lunch 1:00 PM: Aztec Human Sacrifices 2:30 PM: Outside playtime 3:30 PM: Algebra 4:30 PM: Potions Tuesday, Thursday: 8:00 AM: History of the Royals 9:00 AM: Spelling 10:00 AM: Botany…
Think on Thy Sins: An SML Review of “The Witch”
The Witch is being billed as one of the most genuinely scary films of the year. But does it stand up to, what is for horror lovers, such a high endorsement? Only you can say for sure, but for this filmgoer, the answer was clear. The film bills itself as…
435. Monsters Like Being Reality TV Stars
Are you getting my good side? Does it really matter when you wear a mask? We wish more reality TV shows would use this model: wiring television cameras into houses where horrendous crimes have taken place then forcing kids to spend the night with promises of fortune and public adulation.…
434. Monsters Like Charging Way Too Much to Just Drive Across Town, Take A Look In The Sink, Then Pouring DRANO Down There? Oh, And Then Killing You. It’s Almost Criminal If You Ask Us.
“That’s Not My Tooth!”: An SML Review of Severance
Full disclosure: one of the reasons I haven’t reviewed this film yet is because I love it so much, I didn’t want the review to be done and over. Severance holds a special place in my heart. I first saw it in a theater during a film festival in Asheville,…
433. Monsters Like Making Grown Men Cry
In space, no one can hear you scream. But they can damn sure hear you cry, isn’t that right, Bill Paxton? Who knew that space exploration would require such a large supply of Kleenex? Game over, man. Game over.
