After all, mom always said that “Clothes make the monster”. Well mom, I’m going to be the best monster I can be, starting with taking pride in my appearance. Anyone can terrify children. That’s easy. But can they look this classy while doing it? I don’t think so.
We read somewhere that a flashlight was really just a plastic tube to store dead batteries inside. And boy, do we monsters know it? We thrive in the darkness. Flashlights do not. This is why we will always win. If you want our advice, don’t take the time to fidget…
Lizzie Borden took an axe And gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, She gave her father forty-one.
Start your holiday shopping early or prepare to boost your film career. Check out the news that’s been burning a hole in our inbox. Feeding Hannibal Cookbook Available Just in Time to Buy us for Krampusnacht — Are you planning to have some old friends for dinner this holiday season?…
There are only three rules to Ouija, the beloved Parker Brothers board game: Never play alone. Never play in a cemetery. Always say goodbye. While it’s pretty easy to make it through a game of Monopoly without really abiding by the rules (be honest—have you ever read them all the…
If your mother knew something about you that you didn’t know, would you want to know? We’re talking life-changing, mind-bending, soul-crushing information. Something that would completely shatter your view of reality. Hell, it would shatter your view of…yourself. You know she knows something. You know there’s a reason why she’s…
Dear America, We don’t know what went wrong. We tried everything we could, but the momentum of time rolled inexorably forward and we were once again unable to stop the path that will lead to the world’s destruction. We tried the truth. We tried sarcasm. We tried all the internet…
Does any of this sound familiar?: “C’mon, Steve. It’s just an old house. Let’s go inside. What are you—chicken?” “Don’t worry, Brenda. No one will find us out here. We have all night to do whatever we want. So come a little closer, will ya?” “It’s just a book, Rick.…
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