After a while, we monsters get tired of seeing nothing but grotesque gargoyles and griffins guarding buildings. How cliche is it to put a cross on top of a headstone? Be more creative, people! You know what’s creepy? Kids. Soul-less children encased in concrete for all eternity. And yet, people…
Don’t Worry. You won’t have to live with it for long.
For thousands of years, making Witch’s Brew was a messy proposition. There used to be so much scrubbing of cauldrons afterward. The tongue of frog always stuck to the bottom of the bin. And you don’t want any of your old ingredients accidentally mixing with the new ones. That could…
Dear Advice Monster: My big sister is really mean to me. I am only 5 years old. What should I do? Chrissy Dear Chrissy: Have you ever tried hiding in her closet until she’s asleep so you can eat her toes? If not, give it a shot. That seems to…
Monsters enjoy complete control over humanity. But this doesn’t come easy. To successfully instruct the minions, every monster needs spiraling irises. When a human glances into a monster’s rotating pupils, it’s like staring into the chasm of selfless obedience. Check your morals and inhibitions at the door. You won’t be…
Monsters can’t just toil away all day in caves. They have reputations to mind. A quick Google search reveals where and when they were sighted last. Because if it’s on the internet, you know it’s true. Can you imagine what it would do to a monster’s fame and esteem if…
July 27 Because Monsters are People Too Join us this day to show appreciation to the monsters in our lives. Take your favorite monster (or monster toy) with you to work, school, or play. Show it off. Amaze your friends. Baffle your boss. Frighten your psychiatrist. And don’t forget to…
It’s the only time people run up to them screaming instead of away from them.
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