40 years. That’s nothing compared to all the terror I’ve survived in those decades. 11. The number of iterations in which this monstrous soul has inflicted trauma. $33.3 million. The record amount you’re willing to pay on an opening day in October to see whether I have the last laugh.…
You know what’s better than gnawing on a warm femur freshly torn from the body of a still-screaming victim? You thought we were going to say “nothing,” right? Wrong. Sucking out the savory marrow of a severed leg is delicious, don’t get us wrong. But sometimes, only something sweet will…
The best hair. The freshest nails. The tightest skin. We monsters take our looks very seriously. You know this—you’ve read all of our posts about fashion (see here and here). But nothing brings the ensemble together like the perfect piece of bling! You ever find the right jewelry, but you…
Rest assured. When you say— —it will be.
Some people are early birds. Some people are night owls. Some people aren’t any kind of bird. Some people aren’t even people. But whatdoyoucallpeoplewhoaren’tpeople,anyway? I guess you could just call them by their name. I mean, it’s never a bad idea to call someone by their name, right? Some people…
When completely upending your life and the lives of your family, friends, and neighbors, it’s important to get the degree of severity just right. Being 80% more impulsive is clearly much too much. But you definitely want to change enough to make a lasting impact. After all, this isn’t a…
I wanted to make Hell’s Kitchen a better place. When I was a kid, I dreamed of what it was like to live far, far away from the bustle and the crime and the filth. But I realized that the city was a part of me—it was in my blood.…
The US averages 19 shark attacks each year, but only one death by shark every two years. More than 7,000 people are bitten by venomous snakes each year in the US. And of those, about 5 people die. Believe it or not, the hippopotamus is the deadliest large land animal,…
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