234. Monsters Like 360-Degree Vision
232. Monsters Like Feeling Welcome
Greetings, my new neighbor. I’m the lonely, creepy old man who lives in the dark castle at the end of your road. I like to meet all my new neighbors. . . after sundown. You’re really going to like it here. Nice schools, good parks, lots of adequate streetlights. Just…
231. Monsters Like Remote Conferencing
Mortals don’t have enough time anymore to make every meeting face to face. Technology is a wonderful tool. Humans can converse with people halfway across the world if they possess the right software. But what if you want to converse with someone halfway across the netherworld? Well, we monsters have…
Hellhound’s Handbook: Always Cremate Your Dead Pets
I know you sure do miss Sparky. He was always a good dog. Loyal too. But now that he’s gone, you think there’s nothing left to do but bury him in the pet cemetery under the highway. Okay. Stop there. Wrong. If horror movies have taught me anything, it’s to…
230. Monsters Like Pretending to be Your Kid’s Imaginary Friends
Why would we do this? First, we get lonely too. Ever since we died, not many people want to play with us. But your kids sure seem to enjoy our company. And second, we want to kill you.
227. Monsters Like Fog Machines
The mental and physical torture of townspeople is what we do best. We live in the creepy castle on the hill overlooking the quaint village below. You know the one. Gothic architecture. Howling wolves at night. Lots of lightning strikes. And there always seems to be a low-hanging cloud of…
225. Monsters Like Long, Tedious, Dramatic Countdowns
The phone rings and the creepy voice on the other end tells me I have 7 days to live. Um, is that how this works? Shouldn’t you kill me now? I mean, I’ve seen other monster movies, and they always die right away. What’s up with waiting a week? I…
224. Monsters Like Horticulture
Nothing like doing some yard work and trimming the hedges to take the edge off a long day of totally freaking out the villagers.
