Whether your purpose is to reclaim your Great Aunt Edna’s ruby or just your Great Aunt Edna, it’s important to know your rights in the eyes of the law. You probably have none.
Do you think monsters have landlords? Absolutely not. Nobody cares if we hideous ones suddenly take up residence in an abandoned mine shaft, sewer, or decrepit home. Trust us. No one comes calling to say your rent is overdue. No one. Imagine if some misguided property manager does happen to…
Would you come to my funeral and cry if I paid you? Funerals are supposed to be dismal and depressing. We’re told the dead are in a better place, or their passing was for the best because they were suffering. Many people like to remind us that the recently-deceased are…
It’s still the easiest way for an evil poltergeist to enter your home and begin wrecking your things and making you think you’re really crazy.
You think it makes you look cute. We think it makes you look easier to catch and eat.
Kids these days and their cell phones. Us old-timey monsters didn’t have such luxuries 20 years ago. If we wanted to call our victim before slaying them, we had to make do with what we had. When we were staked out quietly in an upstairs closet, all we had were…
Can you name the mad scientist in your town? You can’t? Well Asheville, North Carolina, definitely had a mad scientist, and his name was Bob Moog. Old black and white photos show the man in his youth, hair disheveled, transistors and diodes and wires hanging all around his laboratory. He…
Monsters like to stay connected to you, even when they are in a different room than you. Penetrating solid objects would be a real task for a mortal. But monsters never did have much use for the laws of physics.
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