See that giant, creepy mansion on the hill? Yeah. That’s mine. Oh. Did I mention I have a chauffeur? And a butler? And don’t even get me started on that multi-million dollar laboratory in the basement where I conduct my questionable and unethical experiments. Do you think those giant plasma…
Because a haunted mansion without spider webs is as crazy as Green Eggs without Ham, Lilo without Stitch, or a family holiday feast without burnt turkey and someone in a mask running around with a chainsaw chopping the heads off innocent teenagers.
The creaky door should tell you this spooky house hasn’t been inhabited by humans for decades. But if that squeak doesn’t frighten you away, you might as well come on in.
Sure. I mean, it’s fun drinking up the sunshine and water all day. Sitting in a little pot. Little bees landing on you. That’s all well and good. But I’m going through some changes. And that lifestyle just doesn’t do it for me anymore. I’ve found a new high. It’s…
We monsters need sequels. There are always a few really cool characters in the first film who didn’t die. This will not be tolerated. Monsters like being asked to do a second movie, because the most beloved characters from the first film are usually the first to die in the…
We monsters like a good moving day. Watching you puny humans pack up all your belongings into milk boxes and stack them in a yellow truck makes us happy. We like seeing new places. Ever since you moved into this house, we monsters have been nothing but awful to you.…
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