344. Monsters Like Molding the Minds of Young Children

Most children dread being the new kid in school – and with great reason! The new kid gets picked on, made fun of, and is generally bullied until he is the hollow shell of his former self.

But as much as we love seeing that happen, there is one thing we love seeing even more in schools: the new teacher.

The new teacher is a novelty unlike almost any other. The staff are generally divided on how to respond to a new teacher. Usually about half welcome him or her with open arms, and provide a stiflingly unnecessary amount of support in an unfamiliar environment. The other half are wary of how this new teacher will affect their own popularity and ability to control the students both in and outside of the classroom, and skirt past in the halls for their own protection. (Their instincts are probably more accurate.)

The students, on the other hand, respond to a new teacher with a vigor usually only saved for snow days and end-of-year parties. Often, they are wholeheartedly happy just to be done with the former teacher in that role.

After all, this new guy can’t be any worse than the last one, right?

Wrong.

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Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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