152. Monsters Like Crocodile-Infested Moats

A man’s home is his castle. And a monster’s castle is his fortress.

Any monster who values his privacy knows a few tricks for keeping the pesky villagers and meddling teenagers with dogs off of his property. Of course, we have no intention of sharing all our secrets with you tasty readers, but one sure-fire way to remove unwanted intruders is by way of crocodile-infested moats.

Sure, it’s a little tricky to find a contractor willing to do moat additions. And wrangling those crocs can be a hassle – especially when they’re hungry. But we find that it can be quite effective to threaten to feed you puny humans to the crocodiles unless you do as we bid.

Then, the only thing we have left to do is install a trap door randomly in the middle of the floor, so that anyone who steps on that one particular spot will drop through into the moat of hungry crocodiles.

But that’s easy. We found directions for installing that online.

Sarah G

What do you get when you cross a horror movie with a pile of books? She’s not always sure, but Sarah G is always there to find the connection. In the process, she has helped found a local nonprofit, started a satirical holiday, ticked off celebrities, and tried to purchase the lunar surface.

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