Stuff Monsters Like – the List!

5. Good Hair Days

1. Running Across the Rooftops of London

2. Eating Little Girls

3. Destroying Tokyo

4. Hanging out in the Dark

5. Good Hair Days

7. Hiding Under the Bed

8. Mad Scientists

9. Vintage Bed Sheets

10. Hardware Stores

11. Kidnapping Women

11. Kidnapping Women

13. November First

15. Long Teeth, Sharp Nails

16. Defying Standard Lifespans

17. Pod, Sweet Pod

18. Staying Up Late… to Kill You!

20. Sunny Days without Being Chased by Angry Mobs with Pitchforks

21. Revenge Against the Perpetrators, or, Failing That, on Humanity

28. Creating an Apocalypse

22. Fearless, Immodest Women

24. Ancient Curses from Antiquated Gods

26. Weak-Ankled Women

27. The Full Moon

28. Creating an Apocalypse

29. Stop, Drop, and Roll

30. Poor Camera Work

31. Revealing Themselves in Silhouette

31. Revealing Themselves in Silhouette

32. Dressing Up and Performing in Public

33. That the Kardashian Sisters Taste Like Country Ham and Hairspray

34. Stain Removers with Bleach

36. Two-for-One Movie Nights

37. Tanning Beds

38. Sewing Kits

41. Paying Bargain Rates for your Soul

42. Cereal Sponsorship – A Brutal History of Struggle

42. Cereal Sponsorship – A Brutal History of Struggle

43. Muenster Cheese

44. Creepy Organ Music

45. Using Their Superhuman Abilities to Win the Big Game

46. Stealing Chickens

49. Redecorating Their Lairs

50. Walking Amongst Other Socially Outcast Freaks at Comic Book Conventions

51. Googling Themselves

52. Hypno-Eyes

54. Bad Cell Phone Reception

55. Creepy Statues of Little Girls

56. Overly Dramatic Theme Music

57. Poorly Marked Hiking Trails

58. Active Sex Lives

59. Spotty Wiring Systems

60. Crashing Your Party

61. Cleverly Disguising Their Evil Plots in Backwards Cryptic Writing

64. Hormone-Free Meat

62. Battling Blog Killers

63. Bad Special Effects

64. Hormone-Free Meat

65. Revealing Their Evil Plot to the Good Guys Before Executing Them

66. Ruining Your Meal

67. Reincarnation

68. English Voice Overdubs

69. Speaking in Foreign Tongues

70. Interrupting Grooming Routines

71. Unruly Children

72. Cookouts

73. Escaping Their Captors

74. 9-1-1 Service

75. Men’s Wearhouse

76. Hiding Their Identity

77. Mysteriously Impregnating Unsuspecting Women

78. Inhabiting Abandoned Houses with “Dubious” Pasts

79. Hearing Our Name Called Out Repeatedly

80. Celebrating Special Occasions

82. Playing with Your Engine While You’re Not Looking

83. Holy Water

84. Hosting Late Night Television Shows

85. When the Dumb Blonde Busty Cheerleader Runs Upstairs Instead of Outside

86. Chronically-Depressed, Sullen, Dull, Tedious, Exasperating Women

87. Cleaning the Bones

88. Creating the Entire Known Universe

90. Intimidation

91. Calling into Work Dead

92. Giant Tesla Coils

93. Wishing You a Happy New Year

94. Freedom of Speech

95. Island Getaways

95. Island Getaways

96. Invading Earth and Showing Earthlings Just Where They Fall in the Food Chain

97. A Foot Hanging Out from Under the Covers

98. Seeing Eye Stallions

99. Guarding the Treasure, Fair Maidens, or the Gates to Hades

100. Meeting Abbott and Costello

101. Higher Education

102. When the Gun Jams

103. Eye of Newt

103. Eye of Newt

104. Arts and Crafts

106. Prematurely Revealing Their Evil Plots

107. Coming Out of the Closet

108. Alliterative Killings

109. Being Sports Team Mascots

110. Bedwetters

111. Finger Sandwiches

111. Finger Sandwiches

112. Returning Every Halloween

113. Scream Machines

114. Mass Production

115. Alternative Medicine

116. Holding Down Regular Jobs

118. When You Hide the Zombie Bite from Your Friends

119. Mother’s Day

120. Disembodied Limbs

121. Saying “I’d rather be dead,” But Really Meaning It

122. Chasing Pac-Man

123. Broken and Disconnected Phones

127. Indian Burial Grounds

126. Midnight Snacks

127. Indian Burial Grounds

128. Scabs

129. Free Weapons

130. When You Open the Tomb

131. Knowing that Being Dead Won’t Keep Us Down

132. Slurping Blood

133. Girls’ Night Out

134. Possessing Babies with Hell-Demons

134. Possessing Babies with Hell-Demons

135. Black Magic Women

136. Heat Waves

137. Punctuating Their Sentences with Lightning

139. Regular Oral Hygiene

140. Formaldehyde

141. Leather Masks

142. Crying Blood

142. Crying Blood

143. Bear Traps

144. Gullible Drivers Who Pick Up Hitchhikers

145. When You Hide Behind the Door

146. Morbid Fashion Sense

147. When Humans Believe there is a Working Phone Somewhere Inside that Old, Dirty, Abandoned, Creepy House

148. When the Butler Did It

149. Following You Home

150. Mood Lighting

151. Paintings with Moving Eyes

152. Crocodile-Infested Moats

152. Crocodile-Infested Moats

153. When Young College Kids take a Weekend at their Cousins’ Secluded Cabins in the Rural Forest

154. Gothic, Southern Cities

155. Surviving Car Accidents

156. Serendipitously Finding Carelessly Placed Body Parts

157. Providing Biting Commentary About your Bourgeois, Consumer, Hum-drum, Routine, Mindless Automaton Lives

158. Having Real Estate Named After Them

159. Being Famous

161. When You Mistake an Invasion for a Weather Balloon

162. Hidden Prizes in Your Candy

162. Hidden Prizes in Your Candy

163. When Children Take Candy from Strangers

164. Extreme Sports

165. When Your New Neighbors Neglect to Mention Things

166. Twins

167. Impeccable Grooming Routines

168. When You Think the Stoner is Just Being Paranoid

169. Bludgeoning

170. The War on Christmas

171. Running Amuck

172. Two-Way Mirrors

173. Dismemberment Insurance

173. Dismemberment Insurance

174. Multipurpose Tool Boxes

175. Ruining Important Family Events

176. Alpha Males

177. Hiring the Old Man at the Gas Station Down the Road to Give False Directions

178. Global Warming Deniers

179. Surprising You in the Bathroom

180. When You Read Aloud From that Latin Spell Book

181. Food Crafts

182. Cockroaches and Cher

183. Holiday Stew

184. Fair Treatment During the Holidays

184. Fair Treatment During the Holidays

185. Joining Their Voices in Holiday Spirits

186. When Your Cell Phone Rings at the Exact Moment You’re Hiding in the Closet from the Killer

187. Being Action Figures

189. Terrorizing Young Entrepreneurs

190. Knowing What You Did Last Summer

191. Still Knowing What You Did Last Summer

192. Playing with Dolls

193. The Hobson’s Choice

194. Dying When the Amulet is Destroyed

198. The N.C.C.G.A. (National Cotton Candy Gun Association)

195. Going Crazy for No Reason When We Get Super Powers

196. Learning from their Ancestors

197. Toying with Human Emotions

198. The N.C.C.G.A. (National Cotton Candy Gun Association

199. Incongruous Movie Titles

200. Being Gentlemen

201. Pet Supply Stores

202. Celebrity Endorsements

204. Stealing Your Heart

205. Living in Inhospitable Habitats

206. When Campers Retreat into Tents for Protection

207. Braaaaaaaains

208. Agrarian Jobs, Like Being Butchers

209. Giving the Evil Eye

210. Guarding the Edge of the Planet on Old World Maps

211. Having a Wild Side

212. When Our Evil Robots are Fully Charged

213. Leaving Inconspicuously Dead Bodies Lying Around in Ways that You Don’t Know if They’re Really Dead, so You Try to Wake Them to Make Sure, But then You Discover that They’ve Been Alive All Along and Have Just Been Waiting to Kill You

214. Dodging the Falling Chandelier Attached to the Rope that the Hero has Just Chopped as He Rides the Rope to the Upper Floor

215. Avian Rage

219. The Atkins Diet

216. Car Batteries that Always Tend to Fail Once they are Driven Out into the Deep, Creepy, Abandoned Forest

217. When an Entire Town Wall Gets Filled with Posters of Missing Children, but the Parents Don’t Ever Leave, Even in the Face of Obvious Danger, and Some of them Even Continue to Have More Babies

218. Playing with Matches

219. The Atkins Diet

220. Artisan Glass Blowing Crafts

221. Broom Closets

222. Lethargy and High Cholesterol Diets

223. Keeping Bunnies as their Best Friends

226. Resurrection

224. Horticulture

225. Long, Tedious, Dramatic Countdowns

226. Resurrection

227. Fog Machines

228. Working Refrigerators

229. When Old Roads in the Middle of Nowhere are for Some Reason Covered in Nails and Other Tire Piercing Materials

230. Pretending to be Your Kid’s Imaginary Friend

231. Remote Conferencing

232. Feeling Welcome

232. Feeling Welcome

233. When You Lend a Helping Hand

234. 360-Degree Vision

235. Grabbing You from Behind . . . the Wall

236. Crawling Over Furniture

237. Having Only One Name, Like Rock Stars and Artists and Clothing Designers

238. Coming to Your Kids’ Birthday Parties

239. Calling You from Inside the House

240. When You Misspell Stuff

241. Sleeping in on Sundays

242. Television

243. Rent-Free Living

244. Being Good Parents

245. That Grave Robbing and Body Snatching are Treated as Completely Different Crimes Under the Law

246. Stealing the Spotlight

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2 comments

Gary

January 29, 2011 at 9:21 am (UTC -4) Link to this comment

Reply

How about “Waiting patiently for the girl running to twist her ankle and be helpless”
1. rabbitholeavl
  
  January 29, 2011 at 10:43 pm (UTC -4) Link to this comment
  
  Reply
  
  Good suggestion. Keep an eye out to see what we do with it.

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